4 Tips For Talking About Estate Planning With Your Family Over the Holidays
With COVID-19 still raging through out the world, your 2020 holiday season may not feature the big family get-togethers of years past. However, you’ll still likely be visiting with loved ones in some fashion, whether via video chat or in smaller groups. Even though the holidays are always a good time to bring up Wills and Trusts planning, given the ongoing pandemic, talking about these issues is particularly urgent this time around.
With that being said, asking your dad about his end-of-life wishes while he’s watching football isn’t the best way to broach the subject. To make the talk as productive as possible, you should consider the following four tips.
- Set aside a time and place to talk
Attempting to discussing planning while opening Christmas gifts most likely won’t be very productive. Your best bet is to schedule a time, when you can all gather to talk about this important issue without distractions or interruptions.
You should be upfront with your family about the meeting’s purpose, so no one is taken by surprise and people come prepared for the talk. The setting should be one that’s comfortable, quiet, and private. This is because the more relaxed everyone is, the more likely they’ll be comfortable opening up.
- Create an agenda, and set a start and stop time
Additionally, you should create a list of the most important points you want to cover, and do your best to stick to them. Open conversation should be encouraged, however, having a list of items you want to cover can help ensure you don’t forget anything.
Also, a start and stop time for the conversation should be set. This will help keep the discussion on track and prevent people from getting too far off topic. If something important comes up that’s not on the list, you can always continue the discussion later. Remember, the goal is to simply get the conversation started, not work out all of the details.
- Explain why planning is important
Further, you should assure everyone that the conversation isn’t about prying into anyone’s finances, health, or relationships—it’s about providing for the family’s future security and wellbeing no matter what happens. It’s also about ensuring everyone’s wishes are clearly understood and honored and not about finding out how much money someone stands to inherit.
Talking about these issues is a good way to avoid future conflict and expense. When family members don’t completely understand the reasoning behind one another’s planning choices, it’s likely to breed conflict, resentment, and even costly legal battles.
- Discuss your planning experience
If you’ve already created your Will and Trust, start the talk by explaining the planning documents you have in place and why you chose them. If you have loved ones who’ve yet to do any planning and have doubts about its usefulness, discuss their concerns in a supportive manner, sharing how you dealt with similar issues whenever possible.
If you’ve worked with us, as your Personal Family Lawyer®, describe how the process went and how we supported you to create a plan designed for your unique wishes and needs. You should also mention any questions or concerns you initially had about planning and how we worked with you to address them.
If you have not yet worked with us on your Will and Trust, consider watching this brief training that discusses what you need to do, what you can do yourself, and what you need a lawyer to help you with in order to complete. You may even want to watch it with your family, and outline the steps that need to be taken together. If one of your action steps is to enlist the support of a lawyer to get your Wills and Trusts planning done, call us for a Family Wealth Planning Session™.
For the love of your family
With us as your Personal Family Lawyer®, we can guide and support you in having these types of discussions with your loved ones. When done right, Wills and Trusts planning can put your life and relationships into a much clearer focus and offer peace of mind knowing that the people you love most will be protected and provided for no matter what. You should contact us today to learn more.
This article is a service of Levi L. Alexander, Personal Family Lawyer®. We do not just draft documents. We help to ensure you make informed and empowered decisions about life and death, for yourself and the people you love. This is why we offer a Family Wealth Planning Session™. During this session, you will get more financially organized than you’ve ever been before and make all the best choices for the people you love. You can begin by calling our office to schedule a Family Wealth Planning Session and mention this article to find out how to get this $750 session for free.
